on being duplicitous towards myself.

Reflecting back on my regrets, I find myself believing that—given the circumstances—I did the best I could, and that—given the circumstances— I could have done better.  I mean, how could I have not done the best I could?  Also, how could I have not been able to do better?  I suppose that part of the problem is that I’m simply not transparent to myself—when I act poorly I’m not conscious of why I do what I do, either during or after.  But, at the same time, my mind refuses to suspend judgment—it won’t let me just sit there and not pretend to know.

“For now we see in a mirror dimly…” (1 Cor. 13:12)